random
Monday, March 31, 2008
nothing much this post, just ramming some random stuff
today when i went to the toilet, i closed the door and when i was about to lock it, the lock stuck out. so i just slammed it in. it went in, and i saw that it was good. but then, the plastic cover flew out from the other side. maybe its because of what miss jac sim talked to us this morning about vandalism or sth, this was what happened
"AHHHHHHHHH SEE HE BREAK THE DOOR!!" - a voice, but i knew straight away it was Hussaini
"OH MY GOD!! HE BREAK THE DOOR!!" - Kayum, i saw him changing before i went in the cubicle. i did not watch him change, just saw him
then they ran out of the toilet, screaming "GO SEE, GOT SOMEONE BREAK THE DOOR!!"
i knew they ran down the corridor telling the whole world that i "BREAK THE DOOR" cuz i could hear the echo.
i was like. what the $£%. can let me sh!t in peace?
after i revved up in the toilet, i went out, fixed the cover back, and it was as good as new. how i wish hussaini and kayum would return and shout "OH MY GOD!! HE FIXED THE DOOR!!"
few days back, sth damn funny happened. maybe its because of the way i walk, nicole teased me: "AY AH BENG!" at this moment, a full-fletched ah beng turned around and looked at her, with a cigarette stuck in between his lips. if he was less ah-bengish i would have LOLed. but i only waited till we walked past him quite a distance before i LOLed. hahahahha
yesterday, i went for the 1pm jiang lao shi tuition class instead of the 2:30 one cuz me and hern wei both wanted to visit the old chen lao shi tuition which was at 4pm. so after jiang, we both went to novena, united square to eat. i bought oreo cheesecake from maccafe. not as nice as the sakura one.
after that, we went to the chen lao shi tuition center. we sat at the receptionist table to do maths LOL. we wanted to talk to the teacher only after the class. then this guy came and gave us some flowers and doughnuts from donut factory, and said its for a girl. he was like "oh, she will take it" when hern wei asked which girl is it for. i was like "eh want kope some donut and eat anot? quite tempting"
den hern wei said "yah, den we just say he gave the flowers only lah set?"
"wah, kope whole box ah? aiyah i think better not. later he ask her how were the donuts den we tio $%"%" - HMS
i saw the name on the plastic bag. it said "mindi:)" i knew who she is. but when she came out, she just walked straight for the door without noticing the stuff. so we called her back and said that they were from a guy. she was blur, not knowing who it came from lol. so she just took them heh. "eh shit, shouldnt have told her then we can have free doughnuts" - HMS
"yah lah, you stupid lah" - hern wei
so we went in to talk to the teacher. she said that that girl has alot of suitors, so that guy might be just one of them. haha. we had a nice long chat. its really nice when old students visit long lost teachers :) old friend too haha
after that we went for dinner, before going to starbucks to study for the math TA the next day. which is also today. the nicole joined us too. i was so glad when she could make it. but hern wei was like "eh can yall dont like that in front of me anot i feel funny" oops!
Singapore Flyer :)
look closely and you will see an accident. look even closer and you will see things that are too small to be seen. but at the cabin of the Singapore Flyer, samuel lent us his binoculars to check out the scene. looked bad, but worse through the bino. 20m in front of the yellow truck is a yellow motorbike. 3m away from the motorbike is a helmet. and in front of the yellow truck, there was a puddle of blood. stop drooling you cannibals. while using the bino to see the accident, i asked "eh your binoculars can take picture anot?" but no one answered me :("can i have chicken chop and rice, baked beans change to fries?" - maskil, poet in the making
ps: donate your darn used batteries. and weikang is a 2 faced fag
6:48 PM
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Sunday, March 30, 2008
Maximilian has a letter-fetish. Heres one more provided by him XD
Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady f#^king like rabbits. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Usk
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter
12:08 AM
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Saturday, March 22, 2008
I was talking to maximilian on msn just awhile ago about psp games, and he gave me a link to this joke:
My dear Jagjit,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We are not living where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I am not able to send the address, as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. But I’m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven’t seen them since.
The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way, I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club.
We were confused as to which piece we should remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby toddy distillery. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love,
Mom.
P.S. : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
1:07 PM
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Saturday, March 15, 2008
went to the science center yesterday, but not gonna blog about it yet, cuz all the pics are still with nic. takes quite long to send, cuz 12mp photoes are quite big in size.
and you thought ah meng was an orang utan.
This is Zi Xuan, who thought AH Meng was a gorrilla.
then i was like "gorrilla your head lah"
den he said "not meh? den what? chimpanzee ah?"
"dont be retarded im sure you dont know" - HMS
"aiyah whatever lah, its just a monkey" - Zi Xuan
"it was a bloody orang utan" - HMS
"oh ya" - Zi Xuan
my imba golden frog. i name it the g-frog.
thats ah meng's granddaughter. im serious! her names Suzie. it was a very obscene sight though.
Meng the Twin-faced froggie.
damn funny, there was this family who came, and the son wad like "daddy! tell them you were from raffles too!"
"hey i see you're from the interact club! i was from the interact club too! i was a director then" - man from raffles
"oh i see! hello, im a director too actually" - HMS
"haha cool! We're brothers man!" - man, showing fist for me to do the macho punch shit
*macho punches his fist*
"so got organise activities with girls school anot, you know, rgs, tkgs, chij these kind" -man, saying it in front of his wife and children
"oh not really lah haha" - HMS
"i see. auspicium melioris aevi" - man
*smiles reluctantly* - HMS
"desmond, tell korkor your school motto" - man
"the best is yet to be." - son
"HUH!? your son's from ACS!?" - HMS
"yah, hes a traitor" - man
*thinks to self: you're retarded. i think you were really from raffles. raffles hospital*
"haha okay. nice meeting you" - HMS
tomorrow is nic's birthday. im ponning tuition for it :) cant wait to give her the presents, its damn nice, imma post it in the next post =D
which leaves me with.. no time for schoolwork or anything XD GGXXYYZZF2L
but i like.
6:56 PM
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
puns are fun. actually, no. cuz pun starts with the letter p, while fun starts with the letter f.
most of you would have known by now that i have this weird sense of humour of punning around. so i decided to make a small compilation abt it. theres alot of puns made esp during the past 4 days of rugby training~ biquan, jia you on becoming more punny. hahaha
Isaac & Yousaac
Isaac & I-Y, I-X
Fitri & Fifour Fi5
Amos & Bmos
Benn Chang & Benn Duan
Kevin Yap & Kevin Nope
Yean Pok & Yean Beef
Yishu & Ershu Sanshu
Ben Lee & Straight Lee
Maximilian & Minimilian or Maxabillion
Alimi & Aliyou
Ayumi & Ameyou
ChuanHong & Chuanbai, Chuanlan
Marcus Koe & Marcus Hot
Biquan & C-quan D-quan
Mark Yeo & Mark What's up
Mark Tay & Mark Kopi
renyong & guiyong
Dixon & Dick-daughter
Biq's puns:
ch33by3 & ch33hello or ch33hi
Saiful & Saiempty
Shaun Lau & Shaun Young
"why cant we go to the gym bare-footed?" - someone
"den why cannot go gorrilla-footed?" - HMS
"ooh our next match is on monday ah?" - someone
"hahaha monday, dayday" - biquan
"GUYS, WIDE! WIDE" - someone during rugby training
"GUYS, BLACK! BLACK!" - HMS
"one, two, one, two, one, two" - forwards during a maul, not less
"BUT I DONT WANT TO!" - ChuanHong
*chuanhong stands in the middle of me and shaochun and points at mirror*
"wah see that short guy over there so handsome" - chuanhong
"walao.. chuanhong call me short" - HMS
"wah! who's that guy over there! so ugly!" - biquan, pointing at chuanhong
"wah! who put this mirror here?" - ChuanHong
*oncoming car drives towards bunch of ruggers*
"careful, got car!" - biquan
"careful, there also got car!" - HMS, pointing at car at the carpark.
"why did the poor man put alot of ants into a small container?" - HMS
"hmm.. dunno. why?" - biquan
"cuz he wanted to make ends meet" - HMS
"jon you eating lunch?" - HMS
"no.. i cannot eat alot" - Jon
"yeah, you can only eat lunch, not alot" - biquan
*at KFC, a group of people waiting to use the table which biquan and friends occupied*
"eh, they need to use the table" - Mark Tay
"so do wee" - biquan, pointing at lennie wee
"HI SHUKIAT" - someone
"HI GLOVEKIAT" - HMS
"Nicole, 你cold吗?" - HMS
"Guys, look up!" - any teacher in ri
*looks up at the ceilling* -HMS
"honestly lah!" - Biquan
"yah i know.. honest tan, honestlim honest teo also.." - HMS
"tell the backs to hurry up" - rugby coach rhys
"bags! hurry up!" - HMS talking to the bags at stadium steps
"hi im back" - anyone on msn
"hi im front" - HMS
"What are u drinking?" - biquan
"milo-bing" - HMS
"oh, not milo blue or milo red?" - biquan
"yah, i drinking yourhigh, not milo" - HMS
"wah, my leg alot of pus" - HMS
"ya lah, now become pussy already" - biquan
"Hows Meng?" - biquan, imitating luwei who asks that all the time
"House Fly?" - HMS
"I wanna get a tan" - someone
"oh, i wanna get twenty" - HMS
"wanna go play LAN?" - biquan
"ok, i also wanna go play sea and air" - HMS
"wah see, my slippers brand like Daihatsu" - HMS"of course what, its your ka's accessory" - biquan
No offence to anyoneXD its all in the name of pun! hahahha
7:21 PM
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Sunday, March 09, 2008
we were early.
as you can see, theres hardly anyone. cept for the ushers. so we went to walk around the ripoff stalls. nicole bought a 13 bucks ice kachang that comes in a cute stich cup. i bought a little mermaid wand for her. 20 bucks. there were soft toys too, at 30 and 34 bucks.then it started. pics~
quite hard to take pics in the dark haha. after that we went to kallang entertainment centre to walk around before going home. played mario kart there lol..Day 2: NanHua Environmental Camp
the next day, i had to wake up damn early in the morning to go to clementi, where nanhua is. humans club sent me there, and no one else could make it, other than jack and jim. cool eh? they were like my bodyguards. they got the attention of everyone, cuz they looked totally the same, including their shoes and PSLE aggregate score. imba hahaha. it was more of a games day than anything else, cuz we had environmental talks for like 2 hours only, and we spent one and a half hours watching the movie, an inconvenient truth. or at least the rest were watching. i was sleeping. i watched that movie 4 times already. there was a Q & A session.
"Alright guys, name me one way you can Reduce to save the environment" - Environmentalist
"STOP PASTING POSTERS OF M*S SELAM*T ALL OVER THE PLACE" - random bugger
hahahahhahaha. but then, he got the point for his team -.-
then there was the ice breaker games. i totally jagged myself. as we all know, we are supposed to learn the names of others in the ice breaker games. so one of the guy's name was hussein. i thought to myself that it was an easy name to remember because of a particular reason. but i was so so wrong. when i had to call his name, it might be due to the pressure and unfamiliarity with him or something, i shouted out:"SADDAM!".
i really wish that i will never see him again.
then after lunch, there was 4 straight hours of games. we had to go to different places of the school to play different environmental games.
one of the games required us to do 1 minute advertisement on the 3 Rs. the group was quite quiet, so i thought of the 3 skits,
Recycle: pretend to throw away a can and get a guai1 kia4 to say"do you know that cans can be recycled?"
Reduce: pretend to spam the water at the tap, pretending to brush teeth, and get the guai1 kia4 to say "USE MUGS"
Reuse: pretend to throw a paper away and get guai1kia4 to say "do you know that there are 2 sides of a paper?" then the guy flips the paper and say "ohhhhhhhh i never knew"
hahhaa we got a not bad score, but we had to think of a forfeit for ourselves to get more points. i made my team do the up-and-down-like-a-ping-pong-ball thing. hahaha it was damm funny. but we got 10 whole points for that XD
there was another game that was quite sick. cuz we were the last team to do that station, the facilitators said that the water is the dirtiest. we did not know what she meant till we did the task. we were given a tank and a retarded house, and we were supposed to design it in a way that the water will not flood the house. we were given straws, and i thought of using the laws of phycis to let the water flow out by itself from the tank.
it worked, but the water was pouring in too fast, so the 2 girls in my team shocked me by using the straws to suck the water from the plastic on the top and spit it elsewhere. was a scary sight. but we got a good score for this station. then we came to know that the water was dirty cuz the other teams did the same thing HAHA! so the 2 girls chiong to the sink there to rinse their mouth like free. i couldnt help but told them "USE MUGS". i hope they dont hate me~
another interesting station was one that really required team efforts. we had to do a series of rubbish in 100 seconds. everyone had to run to the next guy to tap him on the shoulder to pass it on.
Guy 1: turn on the lights with his elbow
Guy 2: pour a max of 3 cups of water into a bottle, and if its not enuff or too much, must remake
Guy 3: read "If an environmentalist is a conservationist and a conservationist is an environmentalist, wouldnt that make an environmentlist who is also a consercationist conservationistic and a conservationist who is also an environmentalist environmentlistic?" without a mistake
Guy 4: spin 10 rounds around a pole and throw a ball into the bin. 2 tries. fail = remake.
Guy 5: arrange the stuff on the table into recyclable and non-recyclable blindfolded.
Guy 6: read a paragraph backwards.
we clocked a timing of 60 seconds. LOL
My group=D from the left,Francis Yew (not me) from NorthLights Sec
Boon Joon from Moor House(sorry! i forgot your school!)
Han Yuan from Hullett (same reason as above..)
Battery Boy Meng from Raffles Insitution
Joycelyn Yeo from NanHua High (our facilitator who did a great job)
Laura Lim from Greendale Sec (a racist. hahahha)
farewell guys, you all have been great! hope to see yall again if there will be another environmetal camp XD
Day 3(today): fucking unlucky day. after tuition, i went to the MRT. when i was going down the escalator, the train left. so i wated for the next one. when the next one came, i couldnt go in cuz it was too damn full. but when the train left i saw that the middle was empty, its just that fucking inconsiderate ppl dont wanna go in. i wanted to point the middle finger at the whole damn train population. then in the bus home, i was very blur, and i missed my stop. then i had to walk all the way back. i did my usual pullups routine, and i knocked my head against the fucking thing. then while walking home, i slipped and fell on fucking rough surface. 3 in 1 injury too, both knees scraped and got my left ankle cut. limped home (i limped on my left foot. thankfully no bitch mistook me for someone else), and guess what? the lift was out of order.
lookie, even the gauze is not enuff to absorb the blood. i think i need to get some heavy-flow pads and stick it there.5:26 PM
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Sunday, March 02, 2008
for the good of all chemistry students, the chem rep here of 4Q will teach you how to memorise the reactivity series easily. this method is taught to me by nicole XD
Potassium
Sodium
Calcium
Magnesium
Aluminium
Zinc
Iron
Tin
Lead
Hydrogen
Copper
Mercury
Silver
Gold
Platinum
use the power of acronyms:
Please
Stop
Carassing
Mark
And
Zennon's
Tiny,
Idiotic
Long
Haired
(any word starting with the letter C. i recommend the male chicken)
Meng
Siew's
Green
Panties
works for me, dunno about the rest. i personally think its easier to remember the first letter of the chemical, rather than the symbol, like p for potassium, rather than K.
alright, class dismissed. now for today's activities. yesterday rather, cuz its 12:30am now. went to watch the eye with nicole. retarded show lah.. its like angmoh try to imitate japanese and chinese to make horror films but fail miserably. example, the dark waters. i watched both the japenese version and the ang moh version. jap one can really make you creep out, while the ang moh one will never give u that kinda creepy feeling. i think cuz angmoh's idea of scary is like.. shocks. like boo! suddenly you see a ghost right in front of u.
after the movie, nic went home to do soem stuff while i play my psp. blacklist 7 in Need for Speed Most Wanted. bought everyc ar available, and modded all to the max =D you know how i do this? people who wanna play my psp in class, i let them play the boss all the time, so every lap they finish i earn 35k. not a bad deal XD
then we met up with samantha, a pri school good friend of ours. we went to play pool! went to grassroots' club first, but no tables. then we went to cuppage, but the old ass checked that nic and i were underage. plus, some J1s from rj were there too. then had to choice but to cab all the way to mount faber safra. got table =D
was very impressed with my performance~ almost hit and run(finish the game with 1 turn) once, just that the white ball flew out of the table after that jump shot, though i managed to get that object ball in. damn it. plus all my jump balls jumped over naicely XD
then nic suggested that she wants to play alone with samantha, cuz i "too pro already, play with me not fun". i thought, oh no, then what am i gonna do for the next hour! hahaha jk
but i did take out my psp to play. for quite awhile.
we got jagged a few times when we were going home. when we reached the bus stop, our bus was there and it left, cuz we din know we could board it. then when the next one came, both of them tapped in, awhile my wallet was impotent in making the reactant beep. i realised i left my ezlink there. so they were damn nice to get off the bus and wait for me to get my card. then finally we went home. not really home, we had supper first.
during supper, we got bored. we decided to prank ppl. so i scanned thru my contact list, and i saw "dixon". nicole used her phone to call dixon.
"hello?" - Dixon
"喂，先生，你寂寞吗?" - Nicole
"huh? hello?" - Dixon
"先生，你寂寞吗?" - Nicole
*hangs up*
hahaha, so it was my turn. samantha found this guy from our pri sch also, and i was asked to act as a gay.
"hello?" - guy from our pri sch
"hi, i'm a gay from singapore. i was just wondering if you would be interested to be my gay partner?" - HMS
"err.. no." - guy
"hmm. how about we just try it for three days and see how it goes first?" - HMS
"nope." - guy
"oh.. alright, sorry for disturbing you, i love you" - HMS
"bye" - guy
"i love you" - HMS
*hangs up*
it was daaaaaaaaaaaamn hilarious XD
"which part of your body is the fattest?" - Chuan Hong
"dunno.. stomach?" - HMS
"no, your wrists(rhys)" - Chuan Hong
only ruggers will understand XD
xX 2G-Mother Xx 141107 says:
i know how you can become richer
xX 2G-Mother Xx 141107 says:
hehe
xX 2G-Mother Xx 141107 says:
no offence ah.. change your name from yean pok to yean huat
xX 2G-Mother Xx 141107 says:
LOLLLLLLLLL
pok what goes around comes around One Republic says:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIII*II*IIIIII
lawl.. its lawis!
12:24 AM
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